I learned something about myself

I have gone through relationships in my life like somewhat of a robot. Instead of a heart beating inside me, it seemed there was an empty rusty little box.

I stayed up all night thinking about what he is worth to me. Did he deserve to be loved and adored? Probably not, but I was willing to give it a shot.

I've taken on the apologetic guy role. I want to wine and dine him and buy shiny things. He's not gay, so figuring a way to make it up to him shall be difficult. I actually sent him flowers. *cough* I know, I know. I have never done that in my life. I spent hours looking through hundreds of floral websites last night just to find "the one". He's a sucker for a good arrangement. As I mentioned above, he is not gay.

I guess I just need to be considerate. Like, a lot more considerate. He needs to work on that too, but if I make him as comfortable in life as possible, he'll feel like a complete ass everytime he does something wrong. And I want him to feel like an ass, dammit.

So, if all this doesn't get me laid, then he IS gay.